Hi.

I'm home.

I... I have stuff, things to say, but not today. Not now. Not until I've thought about them.

I am fine right now, fine in the way where you know you're going to get fucked up in a major way in the near future. I don't think that made any sense, but I don't make sense even to myself right now. Physically I am fine.

I think I'll post later. Like tomorrow. I haven't cried yet.

This is the worst Christmas present ever. It's like when you hear something and it's so odd or out of place or terrible you think "ah, this is a dream. Ok, I'm dreaming. When will I wake up?"

I don't think I'm going to wake up.

please help me

I just want to take the opportunity cost damn you econ to say I LOVE ontd_startrek WITH A LOVE* THAT IS PURE AND DEVOUT AND MORE ANGELIC* THAN ALL THAT IS HOLY (ie: to a slightly lesser degree than I will love Wednesday Dec. 16th at 5:00 pm). AND BECAUSE I FUCKING PISSED MYSELF LAUGHING AT THIS.


ok ok I'm done.


*shared by chiare

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW

I spent over twelve hours in the library today, and studied for psyc the entire time. Now I'm at that beautiful part of the night you get to when you realize you don't actually know anything. My exam is taking place at 2:00pm tomorrow, which gives me just over 12 hours, if I pull an all-nighter. But I know that would just fuck me over completely (and I just don't have that stamina, though the panic flooding my system atm is giving that claim a run for its money), so it looks like that's off the table.

Right. Um. Not panicking. NOT PANICKING OH GOD OK. So. What I'm going to do is this: finish this entry, do the online quizzes for all of the chapters, god to bed, sleep, wake up, go over my study notes again with pens and highlighters, dash off to a doctor's appt., go to tutorial, get back, do the text review questions for chapters 1-5 AND THEN GO WRITE FAIL THE EXAM LIKE A BOSS.

I seriously cannot remember being this freaked out over anything involving academia, and I can't say I relish the experience. But, ok, basically I am paying obscene amounts of money to fail this thing. The fuck. And, if I don't get at least an eighty on this, then I don't get to take second year psyc courses, which essentially means that if I don't ace this exam, I just wasted more money than I care to think about, for first year here. That just about kills me.

BUT OK, BEING PROACTIVE (like proactive interference, wherein old memories interfere with remembering new information). STUDYING.

SOOOOOOOOOOO LOOKIT THIS! BUTTERBEER! IRL! OMG! ONE ONE ONE!

MY NOT-SO-INNER HARRY POTTER NERD IS KIND OF ECSTATIC. BECAUSE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO TRY BUTTERBEER. (K, I am a bit dubious in re: how this would taste, BUT IT SHALL BE DONE OVER CHRISTMAS, MAKE NO MISTAKE)

...and I clearly am an idiot/go to Queen's/HAVE NOT LEARNED MY LESSON because my first thought was "wait, where's the alcohol in here?"

Last night went wrong in just about every possible way.

( she takes a whiskey drink, she takes a vodka drink, she makes a royal idiot of herself. Mentions of vomit and alcohol and idiocy, please don't click if you find any of that disturbing )

TL;DR: OH MY GOD, I CANNOT HOLD MY LIQUOR AND THAT'S SO EMBARRASSING

I just got back from the QDC Mini-Recital AND ASDFL;KJASD;FL OMFFFFFG IT WAS SOOOO MUCH FUN! I CAN'T WAIT FOR MARCH; THE FINAL'S GONNA BE A BLAST! I was so nervous waiting in the wings, but as soon as I got on stage with the music, there was nothing but the dance. To be honest, the whole performance - Inter Lyrical and Beg Hip Hop combined was maybe five minutes of stage time - went by in a blur. I do, however, remember falling up the stairs as I tried to put my shoes on between sets. But our performances were, it is mutually agreed, completely awesome. I felt so good, up there, just dancing. I LOVE DANCE. ♥

(PS: someday, I'm gonna be up there with the Inter/Advanced Streetjazz class, because they were GQ.)

ALSO IT SNOWED TODAY AND THAT KIND OF MADE MY LIFE. FANTASTICALLY. (And then it melted this afternoon and I was all D-FACE!) But. Snow :D :D

Erm, I have just been informed that my group got a 78 on our most recent econ project. NOT ON DUDE! D:<

However, I spent this morning listening to Christmas music at full blast and dancing around my room. Win. Also, I had lunch randomly with Chuk from french100 who speaks thirteen different languages and we bonded over Jizz In My Pants. More win.

Finally: fencing party tomorrow, I can haz?

PPS: there will eventually be fandom-related shit here. Promise.

Huh.
( cut for shot yet essentially boring material... zzzzz )

a;lskdfaeir;n you know those times when the most coherency you're capable of is a *headdesk*? Yeah, that's this.

ALSD;FKJA;DFA; HOMG SO. I JUST* FINISHED PTERRY'S THE TRUTH AND WOW OK GUYS WOW.

I'm not really sure how to be coherent about the plot, but here, have some random jot notes I made to myself as I read:

( spoilers for The Truth (PTerry's book, not any episode of anything on TV) )


In other news, the bronchitis is fine. Because as a human being, I have no need for oxygen at all. Really.

*Well, technically it was this morning.

Okay, the situation has congealed into this:

OHGODOHGODOHGOD i'm going to die i'm going to die i'mgoingtodiei'mgoingtodiediediediediediedie failfailfailfailfailfailfailfail and die! And then my parents are going to find out I'm doing horribly wtih this fancy education and they're going to kill me. ;alskdjfial;erna I cannot continue procrastinating in this manner! Tonight has been an unfortunate example of that, though it's not even 11 yet. But. I just finished - for a given value of "finished" - my french100 essay - for a given value of "essay" - and it is probably the crappiest thing I've ever written, including the Goldberg thing. Which, you know, is saying something. D:< augh, how could I have been so dumb to leave it to last night? I know it takes me forever to get shit done. Epic fail, self.

I need an 80% average.

And tomorrow night shall mark the commencement of studying for December exams, probably by attempting to get through the required reading - which I shouldn't be three chapters behind in - for psyc. Dammit. Christmas break better be fucking awesome.

(As Nobby Nobbs said: "Sometimes it is better to light a flamethrower than to curse the darkness.")

It's bronchitis. OTL

Random love for 8 out of 10 Cats:

Jimmy Carr: WIN! "The general rule is: when you're accused of being insensitive towards women by an Australian, you've got problems."

Well, balls.

Random people passing me by on the street told me I should shoot myself.

I'm not entirely sure how to feel about this.

Well, it's almost twelve - it will probably be after twelve by the time I post this - and I have yet to start editing my HLTH101 paper that's due on Friday. Fun times. >.<

In lieu of oh, I don't know, anything productive, I have been re-re-re-re-re-re-yougettheidea-re-watching the vids my Beginner Hip Hop teacher put up on facebook because you know. Her.

(Um, that sounds really stalkerish and kind of strange, but I mean it in the most mild-mannered way possible. Trufax.) And Jacob totally said hi to me today outside of class and ;asldfkjae;ir <3 <3

I have an interview tomorrow (O.o) which I feel kind of nervous for, but mostly I am le tired because ECON OMFG WHYYYY. I mean, I love my group and we have so far achieved decent-ish marks, but hurrrrrrrgh, I am so not impressed with this course. But the prof is hilarious and dorky and I love him, so that's something.

The carmelized onion soup at Lazy is trash. I don't know if i've ever tasted anything that vile. Eurgh.

AND FURTHERMORE: I know I'm about twenty decades behind on internet/fandom stuff but. Guys. NO ONE EVER TOLD ME DR. HORRIBLE'S SONG-ALONG BLOG WAS SAD! It has Neil Patrick Harris! Singing! About ruling the world with his freeze ray! WHAT WAS THAT ENDING, WHEDON, I DON'T EVEN D; D: (I D-face even more than Zachary Quinto for this. It's kind of stupid, but I was expecting to be cheered up when I watched it, not heartbroken.)

I now have the freeze ray song on repeat on iTunes. Because that's how I roll, motherfuckers.

Well, that was the fastest I've ever heard back from any place I've applied to. I have an interview on Thursday at 7 and if all goes well, I can expect to start on Saturday. Things. They move so fast. *knocks wood*

Also, December 4th is eventually coming up - it's the Mini-Recital for the Queen's Dance Club, and I'm super excited. :D Okay, so maybe Beginner Hip-Hop will pale in comparison with Advanced, but dance is turning into the one thing keeping me sane right now, and I can't wait.

I am also eventually going to catch up on SPN/Merlin. Really. I mean it.

Okay, and last but incredibly jizz-your-pants-worthy: obstinatrix 's Any Way You Want Me : a 50s!AU, Shatnoy RPF. Amazing. And she just posted the final part last night, which made me squee like a flaily thing.

...ALSO I JUST REALIZED MY ECON CLASS TODAY WAS AT 8:30. IT'S NOW 9:00. GODDAMMIT, WHY SO FAIL? *HEADDESK OF EPIC RAGE*

HOT YOGA = AWESOME, TRUFAX.
 
Oh man, tonight I sweated from places I didn't even know it was possible to have sweat glands in. And I was a gymnast for twelve years, so that is saying something. It was a hot yoga class organized for Queen's Fencers and it was a fantastic workout. (But seriously. In a sauna. Dripping. Sweat.)

Now, my yoga clothes are in a wet heap on my floor, probably congealing into the Sweaty Clothes Monster or something (you know you're a university student when...). Even the inside of my jacket felt damp because I wore it on the walk home.

Er. This is all probably TMI. Sorry.

So now I feel awesome from the workout, though I can already feel that I'm going to be sore tomorrow - oh wait, later today. I didn't actually get anything done on the huge-ass essay I have due on Wednesday, but that's what three am Wednesday morning is for, yeah?

By the way, there is no actual point to this post. I just wanted to say that yoga was ridicuawesome and that startrekbigbang fics are being posted and that makes me jizz my pants OVER NINE THOUSAND!